Go Do Something Great! But First, Eat Chicken “Tortilla” Soup

For the first time in a long time, I hit a plateau and ignored the signs for about a month (arguably 2 months, oops).

I was eating “paleo” during the week (if paleo pancakes and cookies are included in my paleo now….) and then balls-to-the-wall eating frenzy every weekend. I’m talking wine & cheese, cheddar cheese fries, cinnamon rolls with cream cheese icing, chips and queso, cheeseburgers, cheesecake, mac & cheese–OK, an exaggeration, but I went cuh-razy (I ❤ cheese). On top of that, my work outs sucked. I was recovering from an injury, which translates into ‘I was feeling weak and discouraged’. On top of this, I got really sick. The pesky, yet addictive, “well, maybe next week when I feel better and have time” was popping into my mind every time I missed a work out or failed at eating healthy and only exacerbated the problem. This happens to everyone at some point in their life. It may happen during a training routine, diet, religious journey, job, school, relationship with nature, friendships, partnerships. People hit plateaus. The key is knowing how to kick-start yourself up a road off the plateau.

Bacon Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Pancakes

So, this post has little to nothing to do with the Paleo diet and ends with a recipe that is definitely not strict Paleo. Hate me. I don’t care because I feel inspired to write about other things and the pancakes were so delicious and worth it.

I’ve been up since like 3am and now I’m sitting in the library where people are being exceptionally loud. I’m judging them all. I’m so good at judging people. I just sit back and predict what their life is like outside of their friend group (cat person, dog person, fish person, serial killer, cat person, bird person, ew turtle person). I judge the foods they eat (duh) and I judge how loud they talk on the phone. I judge whatever I can see them looking at on their laptop or tablet (are you watching Grey’s Anatomy in public? Embarrassment).

Bacon-Crusted Meatloaf with Sweet-and-Spicy Tomato Topping & Keys to Success in Dieting (and Life!)

I feel like I’m dying. I have swimmer’s ear like a 4 year old. I know, I know–don’t the magical powers of the paleo diet combat and cure swimmer’s ear? In short, no. In long, some people use breast milk (which certainly sounded intriguing) but still no. Stupid swimming pool and going underwater and cup-like ears that hold bacteria-laden water inside like the world’s greatest suction. Anyways, it hurts bad enough that I cried, but then again I’m kind of a baby. I found my boyfriend’s hydrocodone in my medicine cabinet. It hasn’t really made a difference–told you it was bad! Maybe I’ll feel better soon (or this blog post will become incomprehensible and hilarious). I want need someone to come take care of me. Why don’t my parents still take the day off work if I’m sick? Just because I’m 22 doesn’t mean I can handle this on my own. I need bone broth, bananas, and a back rub– I’m such a baby when I’m sick. Also, I’m missing syllabus day at school…. Bummer only because I’d rather be doing something fun (for example, jet skiing and eating paleo treats) and not laying in bed on drugs starving and crying simultaneously. Not kidding. I’m an infant.

Subject change. Polite-but-bitchy rant time. If you repeatedly do the same thing expecting different results, you are crazy. And dumb. Shout out to all my friends, family, and readers that try the same diet (or a bunch of different, “promising” new ones) over and over and never succeed–or possibly lose 5 pounds before stuffing their face with KFC (do people still eat that?) and gaining 10 pounds. Keep blaming everyone else or work stress or genetics or $2 margaritas or lack of mental toughness…. or be honest and blame yourself and/or the diet.

Combatting the WORST Excuse

There are a million reasons that eating Paleo is challenging… like blackberry cobbler, loaded cheese fries, popcorn, chocolate milk. The worst reason to have, in my humble opinion, is that you had not one other option than to ‘cheat’. C’mon. You had the option to prepare better, always. Cheating is always a choice, unless you’re locked in a Hershey’s Chocolate factory in the last stages of starvation (my ultimate fantasy)…. It is a choice.

That said, I’ve used the excuse a million times. “I was just starving, so I grabbed a bag of chips because there wasn’t another option” #excusesmakemefeellessguilty. Obviously, you may not always be able to get perfect foods– your almonds might be roasted when you’d prefer raw, your jerky may have cane sugar in the ingredients list, or your apple might not be organic (gasp!), but there is almost always another option than those sinful faileo chips. Every single time I know I deserve the guilt, bad breath, and gluten baby I receive from that bag of Munchies, Peanut M&Ms, and Strawberry Nesquik. KIDDING. Kind of.

My solution? Plan. Plan. Plan. Plan. Plan.

The Ultimate Frittata

I’m enjoying myself a lovely break from work for about a week and a half until school starts back. Being a part time bartender that means I only took about 4 days off, but it still sounds like a vacation to me. More vacation: I hurt my shoulder so I’m taking a small, undesired vacation from Crossfit to heal– and that means a lot of leg days are about to happen, hello back squats and box jumps!

Back to the good stuff…. On vacation, you can really have any kind of schedule you would like. That means I can eat when I want to, not on a strict schedule. I went to the doctor this morning, so I didn’t even think about breakfast until about 11:30am. That’s three hours later than normal! And I made the deliciousness found below. Normally, I would have had a major ‘vacation splurge’ and treated myself to some peachy coconut donut holes or blueberry and chocolate chip bread pudding, but I’m in the middle of a 21 day sugar detox. If you’ve never heard of it (or if you have heard of it, but have let your curiosities rest and your fears get the best of you), read about it, order the e-book, and do it!