I feel like I’m dying. I have swimmer’s ear like a 4 year old. I know, I know–don’t the magical powers of the paleo diet combat and cure swimmer’s ear? In short, no. In long, some people use breast milk (which certainly sounded intriguing) but still no. Stupid swimming pool and going underwater and cup-like ears that hold bacteria-laden water inside like the world’s greatest suction. Anyways, it hurts bad enough that I cried, but then again I’m kind of a baby. I found my boyfriend’s hydrocodone in my medicine cabinet. It hasn’t really made a difference–told you it was bad! Maybe I’ll feel better soon (or this blog post will become incomprehensible and hilarious). I
want need someone to come take care of me. Why don’t my parents still take the day off work if I’m sick? Just because I’m 22 doesn’t mean I can handle this on my own. I need bone broth, bananas, and a back rub– I’m such a baby when I’m sick. Also, I’m missing syllabus day at school…. Bummer only because I’d rather be doing something fun (for example, jet skiing and eating paleo treats) and not laying in bed on drugs starving and crying simultaneously. Not kidding. I’m an infant.
Subject change. Polite-but-bitchy rant time. If you repeatedly do the same thing expecting different results, you are crazy. And dumb. Shout out to all my friends, family, and readers that try the same diet (or a bunch of different, “promising” new ones) over and over and never succeed–or possibly lose 5 pounds before stuffing their face with KFC (do people still eat that?) and gaining 10 pounds. Keep blaming everyone else or work stress or genetics or $2 margaritas or lack of mental toughness…. or be honest and blame yourself and/or the diet. Continue reading